Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Dr. Dolittle

I am an avid dater and am quite familiar with generally accepted norms of dating protocol. My choices of whom I date however, show a lack of common sense -- or psychic intuition!

So it's 20 minutes into the New Year and we arrived back at his place after attending two parties. I met this guy on an Internet dating service two days prior and things seemed to be just great!

We were both exhausted from having stayed up together all night the night before. We sat on the couch and he turned his back to me and proceeded to talk to his cat. He apologized to the cat for not being there for it at midnight and verbalized various other sweet-nothings. I sat there for a good two or three minutes letting them have their "private time". What the hell was the matter with this guy?

I eventually felt so uncomfortable that I asked him if there was anything I could do to entertain myself. He abruptly got up, headed to the bathroom and emerged holding a box of dental floss. He broke off a long thread then handed me the box and said, "Let's floss."

He sat back down on the couch and proceeded to floss at the cat.

So I?m sitting there holding this box of floss thinking, "This is not my life. Would the real life please stand up?" I sat there in bewilderment for another couple of minutes.

Then I spoke up, "I can't let flossing be the first thing I do in the New Year even as important as I think dental hygiene is." He pow-wowed with the cat for another three minutes ? I swear he was asking advice -- and concluded that we should all call it a night.

Again, another rotten over-hyped New Year's that ends in utter disbelief of the possibility that people like this are walking amongst the unsuspecting public!


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