Sunday, July 13, 2008

When Your Date Needs Prozac

I went to a very nice steak house with a man I met at the movies. Conversation started out light, but then something seemed to make him sad, and I couldn't imagine what it was. The only bad thing that had happened on our date was that our waitress spilled a little glass of water. He started talking about how difficult his childhood was, making dark elliptical statements and calling his mother "cruel." All of this from a 50-year-old man! Then, after bragging about "finally getting his parents into therapy," my date started asking how I survived my husband's death. Before I knew it, I was in tears.

It was already the most depressing date of my life, and then the waitress brought the check. My gloomy date took one look and said, "I believe in equality. Let's split the bill." No longer depressing, the night was downright horrid.

--submitted by Louise

The Date That Wouldn't End

Much to my surprise, we had a terrible ice storm in Kentucky a few years ago. Right before the bad weather started (literally), I went out with this guy from a town about 35 miles away. It was our first date and I didn't think it was going very well, so I was surprised when he invited me to his apartment to watch movies afterward. I agreed, thinking, "It couldn't get any worse, right?"

Boy, was I wrong! After just one movie, I decided it was time to go home. I called my mother to pick me up, and she informed me that I couldn't leave. When I asked why, she told me to look out the window. There was at least four inches of ice on everything!

As it turned out, I was stuck there for a full week until the roads were safe again. Not only that, but my date had a twin brother who lived with him who showed up about one hour after I talked to my mom. The date from hell became the week from hell -- plus I was double-teamed by misery!

--submitted by lilgalbrat

Rescuing a Fellow Dater in Need

I always date men who are older. Unfortunately, my friends disapprove of this, so one time they set me up with a "guy my own age." But all this supposedly mature date could talk about was how special he was, how many women he had "tamed" (no joke) and how much money he made. After two hours I ended up calling a friend for a ride home.

Two weeks later, I saw the same guy having dinner in a restaurant with another woman. He was wearing the same suit, the same fake gold chains, and his new date looked as bored as I had been on our date! Even though I didn't know her, I had to rescue her. So I marched to their table, took her hand and told her I missed hanging out with her. Then, I asked if she wanted to leave with me! When she said she missed me too, the look on his face was priceless. The best part is that woman and I are still good friends, 15 years later.

--submitted by Sheri

When He Tries to Pay for Play

When I worked at a law firm, I had a crush on one of the attorneys. After four months, he asked me to dinner. We went to a nice restaurant, and our conversation was so great that by the time the check came we were still engrossed in talking. But, I soon found out we had different things on our mind. When the bill came, he said, "I gotta tell you -- I only pick up the tab if it's a sure thing for later." I was stunned. Finally I said, "If that's the case, please excuse me while I freshen up"

"I knew you were a no-nonsense girl," he said. I headed toward the bathroom and kept walking right out the back exit. (Thankfully, I had driven.)

--submitted by jamieclay

Waitress to the Rescue

After meeting what seemed to be "the perfect gentleman" online, I agreed to go to dinner with him.

He was already waiting for me when I arrived. Once we were seated, things got a little, uh, gross. Not only did he pick his nose at the table, but he also sucked his teeth. As if bad manners weren't enough, he also had a finger missing and insisted on telling me the gruesome details of how he lost it. Just as he got to the part about "blood shooting out," I excused myself to the ladies room. The biggest surprise was what happened next. One of the waitresses came in and asked me if I was okay. She said that she had overheard some of our conversation and volunteered to concoct an "emergency" phone call for me. After the details were outlined, I returned to the table and shortly thereafter, the waitress came over and did her thing. I left without so much as a look back. It was the absolute worst date that I have ever had!

--submitted by redeemed

Cheap and Dumb

So, this guy that I've been dying to go out with finally asks me to a movie. We go to the theater, wait in line, and, when it was our turn, he goes up to the booth to buy (what I thought were) our tickets. Imagine my surprise, when he came back and said, "Okay, you can go get yours now." What? Are you kidding me? Fortunately, I had the good sense to stop by the ATM on the way to meet this guy. You know, in case I needed it for an emergency. This was an emergency. Then, just as the flick was starting, he said that he was going to get popcorn and a drink. After about 10 minutes, I looked down from the screen and saw a familiar head sitting a few rows in front of me. It was him. He had come back to the wrong row! It was bad enough to be sitting there in the dark, watching him look around for me, but when I saw that he'd only returned with one popcorn and one drink, I got up and walked out.

--submitted by Charlene

The Cocky, Arrogant Type

My girlfriend begged me to go on a double date because the guy she wanted to go out with had some sort of commitment with his buddy that night. They met us at a restaurant. I disliked my date instantly. He was gorgeous, but not in a good way. He had that snide, cocky look -- and attitude. For the sake of my friend (because she really liked the other guy), I was polite and nice. My friend and I took one trip to the ladies room together and I told her that after dinner I'd go for one drink, but then I was out of there. Then, before coffee, my date leaned over to me and said quietly," Do you have your own place or do I have to get us a room?" I gave him a small, sweet smile, excused myself to the ladies room and continued walking right out to the parking lot. I called my friend on her cell phone with my apologies!

--submitted by nancyflorida